Question: Cour Must Post First Write About An Important Decision That Has Shaped Your Life. Which Obstacles Mentioned In The Reading Interfered With Decision. Are You Happy With The Outcome Of Your Decision? CHAPTER Point Of View Integrate Knowledge While Reading Questions Have Been Inserted In The Margin To Stimulate Your Thinking While Read. Ing. Remember To …

cour Must post first Write about an important decision that has shaped your life. Which obstacles mentioned in the reading interfered with decision. Are you happy with the outcome of your decision? CHAPTER Point of View Integrate knowledge while Reading Questions have been inserted in the margin to stimulate your thinking while read. ing. Remember to Predict Picture Relate Monitor Correct Annotate 10 DECISION A Native American said he had we dogs fighting inside himselfoner men and the other good. When asked which one wins, he replied. Whichever one I find the most velate to this I will. I won’t. I’ll go. I’ll stay. I should I shouldn’t. Yes. No. Yes. Maybe. At times we teeter on the cliff of decision. We feel stressed by indecision as we vacillate 5 through decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse” (T. S. Eliot). If our thinking has been solid, usually the decision will follow. When it doesn’t, we can assist it through a three-step process by considering the goals, alternatives, and probable outcomes of each alternative. • Step 1: State the goal. (What is the desired result of our decision and action?) Step 2: List the alternatives. (What are the possible plans of action–Plan A. Plan B, etc.) Step 3: Describe the probable outcome of each action plan. (Plan A, Plan B, etc.) DIFFICULTIES IN DECIDING Although the three-step process may appear simple, our minds do not work like machines, and other factors over which we have no control don’t always work out 15 as expected. Frequently, we struggle to formulate goals, to assess the data, and to 성 y of these project possible outcomes. Let’s look at some of the difficulties we can run into We struggle with several common roadblocks in making decisions. There is fear: What if we are wrong? Sometimes habits are so strong or convenient that we continue our former ways even in the face of new information. Furthermore, some 20 of us are so stymied by overthinking that we never act at all. And, at times, if we want something badly enough, conflicting motives stop our thinking A student captures some of the feelings, tensions, insights, and results of a deci- sion in which she had conflicting motives 30 My mind screamed NO! My thoughts argued with each other repeatedly. The fear had my speech and body paralyzed. Only my mind was function- ing, tossing the negative messages like liquid mercury separating when put on a hard surface. I closed my eyes when I heard the Justice of the Peace say, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” I started to cry! My new hus- band mistook those tears as joyful tears. Only I knew of the estranged feel ings that existed, knowing instantly that I had done myself a violent injustice. The vivid echoing memory of those vows creates a haunting mirage distressing all functions of my well-being. I was a young know-it-all of seventeen. A typical sample of a teenager I had my mind made up to disband my family. I was spiteful. I wanted to prove my parents wrong! This dishonoring, ill attitude that existed is still unexplainable to this day. I know I longed for some acceptance. 35 HELLO SELECTION 1 le read AI late our can and Roadblocks such as fear, habits, overthinking, and conflicting motives affect decision making A 40 Fifteen years too late, the reflection is clear why I accepted those vows. I fell in love with my husband’s family. His mom and dad loved me back I had a new family that loved me just the way I was. Yeah, I really felt important being a wife and daughter-in-law. These roles turned stale real fast. This was the beginning of my devastating trials in the adult world I’ve often thought of what my life would be like if I had made a differ ent choice. This choice resulted in a brutal, costly divorce. It left me finan cially and emotionally distraught. An important part of my life was wasted and a long recovery was ahead of me. I can’t replace the precious time lost, but I’ve learned to balance and weigh all my choices. ce HOW TO DECIDE Face Fear If fear is the greatest obstacle to deciding, then courage and calm help us to decide If we can free ourselves from obeisance to others, if we can strike strongly out on our own and let the chips and opinions fall where they may, we increase our decision s making power. An example of high praise given to a citizen activist was “He put his body where his words were.” Courage is not bottled and sold, but it can be bought with hard work. We can change our thinking with mantras such as “I think it’s right: l’u do it others can do what they want.” Easier said than done, but courage can build with practice. Firm Our Foundation $5 When the decision is important and we have the time, the more thorough we are in our thinking preparation, the easier and better our decision will be. If we have cov ered our thinking bases, we have gone a long way toward deciding. We can make our thoughts objective and visible by writing them down 444 CHAPTER 8 Point of View A good way to capture our thoughts and facilitate decision making is to make a list of pros and cons Pick any decision issue you wish (changing jobs asking some are out on a date, breaking up with someone, taking a certain course, and so forth) Write it down on the chart that follow then write all the thoughts for and again that decision Evaluate the items for importance by indicating a weight of 1 to 10 in the box alongside each item, using 10 if it is extremely important and 1 if it is of negligible importance. Now simply total the boxes and watch the scale of decision begin to tip in one direction Decision issue: PROS CONS Weight Weight Mwana these Total Total Tech THI’ Call on Character Sometimes, no matter what we know, the decision is hard because the results may be hurtful to us or to those we care about, or because the decision pits our greed against our good. When our character is in conflict, then we dig deep and decide o who we are and who we want to become; we reach for principles, motivation, and values, we realize that our choices define us, that we become what we choose. To help us through these trying decisions, we can turn to Marcus Aurelius, Roman peror, warrior and philosopher. He tells us to perform each action as if it were our last. Similarly, Ignatius of Loyola, soldier and founder of the Jesuits, tells us to 75 imagine ourselves on our deathbed and then choose as if the choice were the last event in our life In cases of character conflict, we can “push the decision by focusing on the positive side and then, when we are able, decide quickly so as not to prolong the pain of conflicting choice. Feelings: A Boost Toward Decision Hegel thinks that nothing great in the world has been accomplished without pas- sion.” That same passion can sometimes be that extra push toward a decision. Many of us make decisions not knowing that our feelings are driving our thoughts. If, however, we are highly aware of our feelings, and if we give them input but not control, we can use feelings as part of the deciding process. Antonio Domasio is studying the emotional architecture of the brain, watching the “split-second emo- tional assessments of situations that unfold so quickly that we’re usually not aware of the process… Emotions tum out to be essential to our rational decision-making processes. If we didn’t have those gut responses, we’d get caught in an endless cycle of analysis… It’s not that I’m saying the emotions decide things for you, it’s that w the emotions help you concentrate on the right decision.” Image the Action Another help in deciding is to form an image of ourselves doing the action. For instance, if we cannot decide to go to a stern school authority or a terrifying boss, we can visualize ourselves walking down the hallway toward the person’s office. When og his relate pula control